Thinking of You, Wherever You Are
by AccountNoLongerActive1
Summary: Emily was just attacked by Sam, the man who claims to love her. Her thoughts and feelings after waking up in Forks hospital. One-shot.


**This is what i think ran through Emily's head after she awoke from Sams attack.  
Review and let me know what you think :)**

**xSteffers.**

* * *

**Emily**

I woke up in what I assumed was a hospital. The offending beep of my heart monitor beating in a steady rhythm, the line spiking and falling. The walls were cream coloured and the floor a vile colour of pink linoleum, an aged and withered chair in the corner of the room, waiting to be sat on. The bed I lay on was lumpy and uncomfortable, the railings on either side the only thing to keep me company.

The room was bland in the greatest sense and the motivational posters did nothing for my happiness. I doubt anything could. I had been so scared, so utterly terrified of what had put me in this Hospital bed. I didn't expect it, but, then again, who expects someone to explode out of their skin?

That's what Sam Uley did.

Sam Uley. The name rang through my mind uncomfortably. This was a man who had taken my cousin and loved her, loved her with every fibre of his being, and Leah loved him back. I could see it in her eyes – anyone could – how much she loved him. And then he threw it all away. He threw away a chance at eternal love, a family, support and building himself a legacy – and for what?

Me, apparently.

I remember seeing Leah early of the day that changed everything. I had come to visit her, missing the cousin who was really like a sister. She had this spring in her step, fuel to wake herself up in the morning, to get going with her day without any hassles. She was a woman with a mission, a woman in love. And I had taken it away from her.

Yes – I didn't mean to. Yes – it isn't my fault. That doesn't mean I don't blame myself. That doesn't make any of this any easier.

I had gone with Leah to meet Sam for the first time – she was so excited that we were finally going to be introduced. Leah seemed to get all the more beautiful every time I saw her. Her hair long to her waist, black, like all of the Quileute's, her dark hazel eyes shining brightly. We were going to meet Sam at first beach, the only real rendezvous point in La Push.

He was facing the water and I could tell he was nervous. His back was straight and he stood at his tallest height. Leah had told me he was tall – but I never knew. They had been having problems lately, or so I had heard, but they were working them out. Leah was positive that all would be well by the end of the week.

He turned when Leah called his name, his eyes looking at her with love and sadness, his mouth set in a grim line. They embraced each other tightly, Leah clinging to him for dear life. I could tell she was worried, she had hopes that things would work out, but that didn't necessarily mean that they would.

She stepped aside to introduce me, and only when she said my name did Sam take his eyes from my cousin.

"Emily Young." Leah told him happily.

I stuck out my hand cheerily, happy to meet the man who was Leah's sun. But he just stared. Just stared and stared and stared. His mouth was slightly open, showing me a row of pearl-white teeth. His face was blank. Only when Leah gave his arm a little shove did his face hold emotion. At the time, I couldn't decipher them, but now, I could understand. He was looking at me with love.

He loves me.

He told me.

He hurt me.

He's the reason I'm in this hospital bed. Gauze wrapped tightly around my head, face and arm. He's the reason my cousin cries herself to sleep, the reason she's so bitter towards any affection, the reason she's not Leah anymore.

And as much as I wish I could put all the blame on him. I can't. I'm the reason too. I'm the reason Leah cries, that she's bitter, that she's heart-broken. I'm the reason all this happened. If I hadn't been so involved, if I hadn't come to visit Leah and Seth. None of this would've happened.

Sam Uley had told me he loved me yesterday, he had expected me to run straight to his arms. How could I do that? He had completely torn Leah in half, how could I know he wouldn't do that to me? To anyone else? Did he really think I'd betray Leah like that?

Even with all those thoughts, I couldn't help my feelings. I felt a pull towards Sam, like he was the sun and I was the earth. But how could I be with him? How long would it take for him to become bored with me and toss me aside? Just like Leah. And as I sat here in my hospital bed, tears of pain – emotional and physical streaming down my cheeks, I couldn't help but think, _She's the real victim in this._

The beeping of my heart monitor sped up as I cried to know one, but cried for everyone. I looked through my tears at the erratic line on the screen and couldn't help but compare it to my life. The unbelievable highs and despairing lows. My life had been good, generic, in a sense. And now, after one argument with Sam Uley, I'm forever scarred. Like someone from a horror movie.

People or things like Sam Uley aren't supposed to exist. They're supposed to be fairy tales, folklore! But that wolf with midnight black fur just ripped its way into reality, burning and searing my flesh in its reality. And even thought Sam Uley is the reason I'm in the La Push hospital, I don't blame him.

I don't blame him, because I love him. And I love him because I can't help it.

I love him because he's unbelievable. I love him because he's arrogant and self righteous. I love him because he's a brooding mess. I love him because I'm selfish.

I love him because he's Sam.


End file.
